Category: Personal
Product of Our Environments
I cannot stress enough: The Bay Area, is a very special place.
The past week I spent in SF and the Silicon Valley re-connecting with the tech community, reminded me of Paul Graham’s ‘Cities and Ambition‘. He wrote this in 2008 and still rings true.
In NY, we talk about money. How technology is changing the way we monetize. I’ve subconsciously turned into someone who combines tech with money. How can I best package x in order to meet $y?
In SF, the conversations are technology focused. How far we’ve come, where we are going. What’s the next wave of innovation?
As I am sitting on the airplane, I can’t help but to think about the differences between NY and SF, then humbled by this incredible era we are living in. How fortunate we are, to be a part of a community changing the world. Whether I am thinking of monetization strategies in NY and innovation in the Valley.
I’m still high from my week in SF. I want more. My brain won’t shut up and I am looking for someone, anyone, with the Bay Area DNA to talk to about anything and everything. Even a topic silly as socks can turn into an app or service.
Silicon Valley is a very special place.
Some may argue the Bay Area is too techie. People even joke about the over-saturated market and how startups have the same “We’re the ____ of ____.” (i.e. Fashion for Pinterest) elevator pitches.
And I’m not gonna lie, I was one of those people outside of the Valley, rolling my eyes at how everyone is an entrepreneur for the sake of being an entrepreneur. How entrepreneurs are the new struggling actors and Crunchbase is the new IMDB.
Yes, it seems like that on the outside. But if you are immersed in the environment, you just can’t get enough. At least I can’t. Perhaps spending time away, made it easier to appreciate the Silicon Valley ecosystem.
The biggest takeaway from this trip is that saturation is necessary as it drives innovation in the way it can, only in the Valley.
Look at it this way: It’s the reason Mark Zuckerberg was able to take Facebook’s social sharing to the next level (bet you didn’t know the LIKE button was built by the FriendFeed founders, who before FriendFeed, built Gmail and Google Maps respectively). It’s also the reason Steve Jobs redefined branding, user experience and consumer marketing and all the other products that change the way we think and behave.
Silicon Valley is such a special place and I can’t wait to return.
I am just privileged to be a part of it all and if you don’t feel the same, step outside of the Bay Area Bubble to appreciate your environment even more.
Mother’s Day 2012: Five Years Later
It’s May again, the month I dread, and every year for the past five years, I’ve written similar blog posts for Mother’s Day.
2012 is exactly the same.
Five years after my Mother’s death, I have nothing new to report, no wisdom to drop, no life changing epiphanies about dealing with grief which sounds somber, but really not. The death of a parent is tricky, but even more, confusing. There is no one magical formula or guideline, step-by-step instructions, something – anything, on how to feel, what to feel and why.
For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me. There were no unanswered questions, zero regrets. No confusion, extreme sadness, just logic. My Mother was no longer on the planet and I immediately dealt with that reality which didn’t seem…normal. So I questioned myself. What’s wrong with me? Do I not know how to feel? Am I out of touch with my emotions? Is my coping mechanism abnormal?
I would search deep within for indicators of hidden feelings but nothing. I was simply dealing with my reality. Then, I start questioning myself again: what is wrong with me, this doesn’t seem right. Where are my feelings? Perhaps I am selfish, self absorbed or worse, a sociopath…then I look for feelings again. That process is a bit of nuisance and sometimes, it drives me so batty I’d want the voices in my head to stop. Then as I am annoyed with myself and the voices, it’d start all over again: stop that, self reflection is important. What’s wrong with me, am I selfish, etc., etc.
Back to square one.
Recently, an important person in my life lost their mother. I wanted to have all the right things to say, but aside from condolences, the words from my heart were: it’s ok to feel however you want. Whether it’s anger, sorrow, confusion, regret, relief that she is no longer in pain or even numbness, there is no one way you are supposed to feel so allow yourself to just…be. I know. I was there. I am still there.
Then I realized, I wish someone had given me that advice.
It took years and someone I deeply care about to lose their mother to see: we are different. We have different relationships with our parents, different coping mechanisms and various life experiences that make it necessary for us to come up with our own answers. It’s scary and unsettling but that’s the way it is. The way it has to be.
Hindsight, perhaps that is the life lesson that comes from death. That as we seek answers, we soul search and face demons that help us grow and become better people. If anything, my Mother’s death has taught me to be vulnerable and more open with my feelings. Something I always thought of as a weakness but more accurately foreign, as we are not taught to be emotionally attune in our culture. Emotional intelligence is something I force learned and still learning every day. See? We are all different.
So if you or someone close to you is dealing with death, please remember to allow yourselves / themselves to feel however you / they want. It’s ok. It’s the way it has to be.
In closing, I will share the story of my mother’s death which is more inspirational, than sad. Just like I do every year.
Happy Mother’s Day :)
Mother’s Day 2007 to 2008…
…what a difference a year makes.As some of you may or may not know, I lost my mom to cancer last year around this time. Since it’s Mother’s Day, I wanted to do something for her but wasn’t sure what…
After some thought, I decided to share what I wrote after she passed. I am normally an extremely private person, but her story is so amazing, if anyone (aside myself) is inspired, that would be the best ode to her… :)
Read the rest here.
People have contributed their own stories and feedback on my G+.
Postcard Project
Old fashioned handwritten letters never go out of style, and I don’t send mail as often as I would like. So I came up with the postcard project, where I choose ten Internet friends to send postcards to. Ten is my threshold to manage expectations — any more and it will feel like a chore, I think. I plan to make this a monthly tradition because it’s always nice to bring happiness to mailboxes, not just inboxes.
This month (April) is already cap’d, but if you would like a postcard, please email your snail mail addresses to monamail at gmail dot com. International are welcome as well. Happy Sunday, everyone!
Sidenote: why aren’t there more tasteful postcards? The fonts are atrocious and the photos, even more so. It took a while to find some decent postcards. I purchased them at Barnes and Noble in Union Square of all places and I looked everywhere from gift shops to local letterpress and stationary stores.
F’ing Live
If only I were 5″7 instead of 5″4. I wish I were five lbs lighter. I’d rather have straight than wavy hair. If only my eye sight were 20/20. Shoulda gone to Harvard. Or Stanford. Or maybe Yale. Why didn’t I marry the one who got away? He was and still is the perfect man, you idiot. Would life be easier if I weren’t Asian? Do I lose out on opportunities because I’m female??
…we all have them. Secret desires. Insecurities. What ifs. Traits we wish we could change, because we think of the cards dealt to us as flaws, holding us back from being a CEO. Having the perfect man/woman. An A-list actor. That famous singer or even a super model. We are the hardest judges of ourselves, for not being __________ enough and allow so called shortcomings to hold us back.
Stop.
Seriously.
Knock it off.
It is impossible to be Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Angelina Jolie, Bill Gates, President Obama, Tom Brady or even the colleague, friend or family member we envy. We are all different and that’s what makes life so fucking fantastic.
Do I ever think any of those thoughts up there? Sure I did. But I learned as a child, dwelling on things we cannot change, 99% of the time leads to negativity. I’ve attempted reshuffling the cards that were dealt to me, by trying to be someone I am not. I’ve watched others live as people they thought they wanted to be. In the end, that mentality of our twisted minds leads to endless misery.
Success, only comes with confidence. Confidence is bred through a mindset to know, accept and use our strengths and weaknesses to achieve goals. It’s the only way to live. The only way to succeed.
Why am I bothering to blog about this?
Well the other day, I came across this piece: “Four Ways Women Stunt Their Careers Unintentionally” via HBR. The gist, is how an extensive study via Europe’s Institute of Leadership and Management, found women in the workplace generally have less confidence than men, and how that gap holds women back from achieving our full potentials.
Fair enough.
But this excerpt in particular, resonated:
The study also found that this lack of confidence extends to a more cautious approach to applying for jobs and promotions: 20% of men said they would apply for a role despite only partially meeting its job description, compared to 14% of women.
Lack of confidence, doesn’t apply only to females. It applies to 80% males, too. Sure, with females, we tend to be more timid but if you ask me, the number of people -male and female- going for the ask, is too low.
So if you are one of the % of people holding back from reaching your potential: whatever the mental block may be, tell it to fuck off. I say this over and over and will continue saying:
Life is too short.
We are 1 of 7 billion on the planet. We have nothing to lose, but time.
So screw pride.
Forget your ego.
We only have one life. Just fucking LIVE.
The worst that can happen, is a no. Don’t let fear of rejection ever get in the way of living. Who cares what one, two or even ten people think about you.
There are 7 billion people on this planet.
There is only one life. Don’t ever waste it. LIVE.
(ps: thoughtful comments here, too.)
The Power of Vulnerability #thankyouSteveJobs
It’s been several hours since hearing about Steve Jobs passing away. I am still sitting in front of my computer, stunned.
The last time I felt this numb was when my mother left the planet…which probably sounds silly, dramatic and insane, to compare a complete stranger’s death to my own flesh and blood’s.
Judge away.
You see, I was taught to suppress emotions. To be as private as possible, and sure enough, that is the way I have always been…or was. Recently, I started noticing that I may not be the person I was raised to be, for with every instance I do open myself up, I realize I am growing stronger. The more vulnerable I become the stronger I feel, which is something completely new to me. Fast forward a few months of trying this thing called opening up, and I am now a believer in the power of vulnerability.
With vulnerability, I now have the strength to be honest with myself. That honesty, is enabling me to be more in-tune with myself than ever before…and because I know myself, there is nothing — nothing, that scares me. Don’t get me wrong, I have always lived life with almost zero fear, taken risks, never afraid of failure, followed my gut and found ways to just…figure it out — traits that were passed down from my father. Because of that DNA, I have seen things, been places, experienced more lives that even I at times have a hard time believing.
Then, my mother died.
Mean What You Say. Say What You Mean.
Pick one: love or money?
Seems like such a simple question with a no brainer answer. When I asked my Twitter and Facebook friends, I got a bunch of immediate responses. Of course, most said ‘love’.
After purposely waiting for some time, I then asked:
I’ve had someone choose money (well, a lifestlye) over me – and it sucks. I have and always been a person who places more weight on a person’s abilities to be honest to and with themselves. It’s near impossible for humans to always say what they mean or mean what they say. To me, it’s more about having the courage to be honest with yourselves and those you care about. Though lately, I’m starting to wonder if this is too much to ask of others.
But at the end of the day, I’m with Arrington all the way who expressed it best:
Dear self, permanently bookmark this post as a reminder you choose honesty. That you are honest to yourself and those around you. That there are others like you who can be honest to themselves and those they love. And most importantly, do not ever doubt yourself for having standards and expectations.
#selfreflectionsunday
(ps: I know the math up there is wrong — silly little thing called details ;))
Why Inbox 0 is a Determining Success Factor
Recently, I noticed almost every successful manager, C-level exec and CEO I’ve met* had an overlooked common characteristic: clean inboxes. Whether they were high level decision makers in Fortune 50s or start-ups, their emails were always organized. So I started aiming for constant Inbox 0, as I’m one of those crazies who emulates behavioral patterns of people I respect.
Well, whaddya know? I think it worked. I started noticing fundamental thinking patterns changing.
My brain now naturally:
organizes — most email programs have filters, folders, labels and other misc. tools to assist with organization. Since I constantly think of ways to keep my inboxes organized, I trained my brain to framework problems with the end goal in mind. i.e., how do I manage massive email loads (work-flow) for constant and consistent tidy inboxes (end-goal).
prioritizes efficiently — everyone has different prioritization methods when it comes to email. I’ve found that when I do not reply right when I read the mail, the probability of not responding is almost 99.9999999999991%.
So I figured out a system. If the email needs a response, I reply right away. If the email is a task, I label it as a To-Do (with a fire engine red label so the email is right in. my. face.) and keep it in my inbox. All emails I do not respond to, are immediately deleted/archived.
Sounds like a lot of effort, but as soon as this work-flow became routine, I do the above every time new mail comes in while working on other things. If something urgent comes up or I am interrupted, the current task at hand is in my inbox as an incomplete To-Do. Multi-tasking at its finest? Naaaah. It’s simply habit that came to be, as the end goal (tidy inbox) is always in the back of my mind. It also helps my email programs are off the hook: Gmail, Sparrow and the number one email client used the most: iPhone.
Now, my brain automatically prioritizes most efficient ways to achieve goals even outside of email.
and
focuses on what I will do vs. what I won’t do — we all strive to be efficient, responsible, responsive and reliable. My daily goal of inbox zero forces prioritization in order to be efficient, responsible, responsive and reliable. The one thing I found through many many (and I mean A LOT) of mistakes, failures and OOPSIES is: honesty is a must. The countless number of trials and errors of:
- taking on too much
- inability to delegate
- not knowing what I will realistically accomplish and what I can not
have taught me the importance of knowing myself, realistic time/workload management and how to be and stay the best I can always be.
The above may sound a bit hokey, but it just so happens to mirror characteristics HBR and best selling biz management books says are success factors. And look! Those skills also resemble Bill Gates’ fundamental framework - who, you know, is kinda sorta successful.
So unless you’re a journalist or spammer, Inbox 0 is an attainable daily goal.
Try it. I dare you.
Suggested reading: “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” – David Allen (Over drinks, a CEO friend of mine who I respect and adore told me in passing about GTD. I downloaded and read a bit – it’s pretty amazing. Good luck!
Continue reading
Everything is simple. Complication is a choice.
“It’s complicated.” is the biggest bullshit excuse. But more so than a load of crap, those three little words are toxic. They have the power to lead our minds into a rabbit hole of inevitables. Once our brains go down that path, it’s over. We sit, ponder and get stuck in our heads: ”What if ____” or “Should have ____” and “Could have ____”.
I know. I’ve been there. We all have.
Some of you may still be there but don’t get caught in the downwards spiral. There is always a solution – we just need the courage to face the solution. Sure, it is easier to say: “It’s complicated.” and push our realities away. But take a step back, breathe and think of ways to change whatever is causing your pain.
Am I making this sound too easy? Well, it is. Everything in life is really simple. We are the ones who choose to make things complicated. Things don’t change. People don’t change. The only thing we can change, is ourselves. And by changing ourselves, we become a solution and while we work towards solving the problem, things change. We change. It’s really that simple.
These are lessons I picked up along the way, but a dying parent had the most significant impact. My mother passed away from cancer in 2006. There is no solution to a dying parent – especially when they are diagnosed with a terminal illness. What I did do and still do on a daily is tell myself how grateful I should be that with my mother’s death, she left behind wisdom that takes people a life time to learn: life is too short.
So change yourself. Your situation. Do something. Change something. We only have one life.
Where there is a will, there is always a way. Look at Alan Turing who spent his lifetime to prove all problems can be solved. But even after all of his accomplishments, Turing’s legacy (at least to me) is: given the right approach and with time, there is always an answer.
We are not genius mathematicians like Turing but we are humans just like him. Take the lessens he left behind. Don’t waste precious time. Train the brain to approach things head-on and as soon as you empower yourself with the comfort of knowing that everything will work out and things do get better, you will find the courage to simplify yourself and your life.
Here’s a challenge. The next time you find yourself in your head, try thinking as Bill Gates does:
- Prioritize
- Ask smarter questions
- Make data-driven decisions
- Divorce your ego
- Frame the problem
- Get perspective on the problem
- Model the problem
- Think of the system and the ecosystem
- Think of the problem over time
- Think strategically
With that, I leave you with words from the great Steve Jobs, who keeps me practicing what I preach:
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.“
I am human too.
The other day, a friend mentioned in passing how I am very zen-like which made me, well, a little uneasy. Me? The one with no filter? The one who inappropriately curses like a truck driver?? Zen like? ZEN LIKE? Really? REALLY??
After skimming through my Twitter and Facebook, my face flushed. He was right. A lot of my shares lately have been cheesy inspirational crap. An over abundance of Steve Jobs quotes. Tips on minimalistic mindsets. How to find your center, balance, how to hold hands with your worst enemy, etc. etc.
Seriously. I should rename my blog to butterflies-and-rainbow-kumbaya-vomit.
Well. Perhaps it was the rough month of August. Or it could simply be my old age but all the inspirational reading helped a lot. Needed a few reminders about what I knew. Or what I thought I knew as the more I grow-up, the less energy I spend on things that are out of my control. On a superficial level, it’s easy to be and stay composed, as I’ve mastered the art of determining how much time, effort and emotions I want to invest in almost every thing I do in life. That way, if I make a mistake or bad judgment call, I brush it off and happily go on with my day. But on the true, real, where it matters the most level? FAIL.
The one thing that’s helped me, is figuring out long ago: people do not change. Since the only thing I can change is my self, subconsciously, I became well versed in self-control and discipline (or stubbornness) especially when emotions are involved.
But as I become more honest with myself, the more I become in tune with myself. The more I become in tune with myself, the more I see: the majority of my displayed strength is a facade. A defense mechanism, if you will, to never let anyone see my weaknesses. Vulnerabilities. Frailties. Now that I identified, acknowledged and embraced weakness, vulnerability and frailities, the need to work on how to be strong and weak at the same time. To find balance. To remain true to myself, while allowing myself to live. To love…is clear. Crystal frickin’ clear.
So I’m learning. I want to learn. I have to learn, to be the best I can be every second of every day.
So pardon all the cheesy junk that may flow through your streams.
My hope is, if articles that touched or inspired me affects even one person, I will happily take all your smack talking. Because I am still me. The one who has no problems telling people to ‘SHUT YOUR TWITTER/FACEBOOK/INTERNET-HOLES’ ;)
Until then, remember that I am perfectly flawed. A constant work in progress. I am weak and fragile just like any other person.
I am human, too.
(Ok, fine. Sometimes binary. 0101, Mona)
NYC, You Kicked My Ass.
“It’s ONLY 3.5 blocks. Any human with two arms, two legs and a pulse should easily move four – no – three and a half short blocks . If they rely on others, they should just get the F out of NYC.” …was what I repeatedly told people while turning down offers to help me move.
What a gigantic mistake. I was wrong.
Boy, was I wrong.
It started with underestimating the distance. Then, overestimating my superpowers equals formula for Fin disaster. You better believe I paid for it. Big time. What – in theory – was only supposed to be a 3-4 hour move? Ended up taking all. frickin’. day.
After about the fourth-ish leg, I knew that in order for me to keep it together, I needed moral support. Turning to friends via phone calls / texts / Facebook something, anything, to find people I love cheering me on was exactly what I needed. Encouragement helped me push through. And it worked. I did it.
Ok, fine. So it took about a good eight hours. A few ‘I am independent and bad-ass yet still can be a damsel in distress’ acts for kind strangers to help with the super heavy stuff. But still, I hauled most of my crap all by myself. Didn’t call the people who offered to help me move. I didn’t even cab it! And you know what? It feels DAMN good. I don’t remember the last time I felt this empowered (in my personal life).
So New York? You may have kicked my ass through the apartment hunting process but in the end, I OWNED YOUR ASS, BITCH!
It’s true when they say if you make it here, you can make it anywhere. I feel like I can conquer the world.
Next up: world domination.
#bringit
Continue reading
Day by Day.
This month was one of the worst of my life.
Things cannot be better on the work front. My personal life, is a another story.
In case you hadn’t noticed, August was all about:
- my stolen phone and how I hate the East Village
- the apartment hunting pity parties and how I wanted to kill myself ten times over
- cryptic emo FB updates (sorry, this one is too personal to share)
(God, I’m cringing writing this.)
Over the past week several friends went out of their ways to ask if I was ok. They all knew something was wrong, since I consistently keep my composure. Rarely reveal intimate details of my life to the public.
“So unlike you…” they all said, of my semi-public meltdown. And they are right. I have always been private about my personal life but lately, not so much.
When I finally slowed down, I figured out why.
Date an Entrepreneur (Female Version)
Came across this post about dating a female entrepreneur.
Male vs female pontifications bore me (frankly), but boy, am I glad I clicked.
Specifically, this part:
[...]Don’t try to stop her – there’s no point.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Fail her. Because an entrepreneur knows how to create opportunity from failure. Because an entrepreneur understands that nothing truly comes to an end. That you can always create something from nothing. That you can recreate again and again and still be the heroine. That life is meant to have a challenge or two. Besides, it’s a good reminder that she has to focus on being the best she can be – for herself first.
Why be frightened of everything that you lack? Entrepreneurs understand that people, like companies, grow. She will help you realize your potential. She will study you more than anyone. She’ll figure you out. That’s when you’re really in trouble.
Clarity – finally.
I always thought something was wrong with me, as my friends have been giving me crap for as long as I can remember. Apparently I am too understanding. Too patient. I have too much empathy and forget to put myself first. They repeat how I need to be with someone who loves me more than I love them — blah, blah, blah, you get the picture, right?
But you see, I rarely open my heart. So when I do, I am all in. And with my heart, comes a love that is full of patience, understanding and most importantly forgiveness.
I’m not going to lie.
At times, I wish I were different. Saves heart ache by being stupidly blinded from love. It sucks being such a clear-cut person, for I suscept myself to unnecessarily hurt. But again, when I’m in, I’m all the way in and it takes a lot for me to give up. I may not be a lot of things, but what I am is fiercely loyal. I fight, until the very end. It takes a lot for me to give up. So when I DO give up, I am able to move forward, never to look back, always, with zero regrets. And I know, from inside out, I possessed the courage, strength, honor and respect to myself and for the other person that I gave it my all.
It’s who I am, personally and professionally.
Which is also why I am an entrepreneur.
My philosophy? Go big or go home.
And even if I have to start from scratch, I always move forward with dignity.
“I never look back darling, it distracts from the now” – Edna, The Incredibles
Fail. Iterate. Rinse. Repeat. #startup
First personal post in a while. Excited to share news. As you may or may not know, I recently joined an early stage start-up as a founding team member. I am in my element. I feel alive. I can’t wait to wake up every morning. This infectious energy of creativity and the will to succeed is one I want to bottle up and sell.
In just a few weeks, we have failed. Continuously. Iterated. Continuously. Over and over, still pushing forward relentlessly, until reaching the right price point. Language. Pitch. Tagline. Every day feels like a month’s worth of work. So many thoughts. The lessons are countless. I can write multiple blog posts about my day. All day. Everyday.
Though the biggest take away thus far, is one I’ve heard my VC, entrepreneur and founder friends repeatedly advise. And now I finally see why. It all begins with the team. I trust, respect and in awe of my CEO and technical co-founder every. single. day. Our relationship, enables us to fail. Iterate. Rinse. Repeat, on our way towards world domination.
This is the best career decision I have ever made.
I hope each and every one of you are as happy in your careers as I am.
Food for Thought: Taking Social Media to the Next Level.
Recently, I vetted through hundreds of submissions for a ‘Social Media Intern’ role. The resumes all had impressive pedigrees. 98% from Columbia, NYU, even students from BU and neighboring states. They were mostly majors of fancy-buzz word disciplines with almost comedic descriptors. It felt as though I was reading a typical social media expert’s Twitter bio.
The applicants were relentless, following up within a day or two, asking when they could interview. I even had representatives from the respective career development centers contact me and offer recommendations.
Wow. I knew any role in social media was hot, but didn’t realize how hot.
Most of my interviews were 15 minutes max. I’d start with: “So what does your major mean?” or if their major wasn’t media related, “Why are you interested in this role?”
Their well-rehersed answers were synonymous to the typical rhetoric in our industry: “The medium to reach audiences is changing. Companies must utilize new media, such as Facebook and Twitter to join the conversation and create buzz.” – followed by an exhale of relief, relaxing of shoulders and a smile of accomplishment. That proud moment of achievement that they were able to recite the definition without stumbling was endearing. I’ve been there. We all have.
I’d smile an understanding smile. Then prod deeper: “Ok, now explain in plain English, what that really means to you.”
As I listened to hundreds of more carefully crafted, well researched answers, it was unfair to expect compelling thoughts, as we, the professionals in this field, have yet to define what social media really is.
Jeremiah Owyang’s recent piece: ‘How to Interview your Future Employer for the Corporate Social Strategist Position‘ is proof. A social media manager / strategist / [whatever lexicon] is still a role being shaped.
So what is a job in social media? Is it garnering an audience on respective social platforms? Content curation? Measuring growth i.e. results? Is it creating viral campaigns? Outreach? Ability to write headlines with high CTRs? Keeping up with the new hot services? Being deemed an ‘early adopter’? Familiarity of available tools? Does that showcase what social is truly capable of?
Should it be…more?
I’ve defined what social means to me by taking my experience and applying it –which I will soon share.
Have you?
Just something to think about.
Dear May: please go away. #personal
You know? I used to love May.
May has a significant number of holidays in the Japanese and American cultures. It’s also the time of year when it starts warming up. There are many things I loved about May growing up — especially Mother’s Day. This was the one day, my mother loosened up and let me and my brother completely spoil her. The only day in 365 days where she showed appreciation.
Four years ago, everything changed.
My mom died on May 23rd, 2007 and since then, things have never been the same. This is the one month I dread and still figuring out how to cope. They say it gets better with time. Well. I’m still waiting. Processing. Wondering, when it actually does. Though this year, is the first year I’ve been able to – or allowing myself to – vocalize my vulnerability. Perhaps it is getting better and I’m just caught in this spin cycle of empty, thus unable to objectively see myself.
Who knows. At least I’m keeping myself busy. Or attempting to.
So I leave you with the same thing I do every year: I am normally an extremely private person, but her story is so amazing, if anyone (aside myself) is inspired, that would be the best ode to her… :)
Enjoy.
Life Advice from a Slanger
Life is the animated form of reality. It can be anything you see. Feel. Think. Touch. Hear. Taste… and comprehend. Life is whatever you make it. See? It’s an animated form of reality. – “Reeds” the slanger (drug dealer) who walked me home.
Some pretty motivational stuff. We also talked about a lot of other things, but I’ll save that story for another day.
New York, New York, Big City of Dreams…
DJ AM (RIP)’s last Tweet before he was found dead in his apartment.
That line is by Grand Master Flash (an 80s rapper)’s song “New York New York” that I’m not gonna lie, never heard before. After DJ AM’s Tweet, I looked up the lyrics and Grand Master Flash’s story -rap- resonated.
I may be reading too deep into DJ AM’s last Tweet, but it seemed fitting that a DJ’s last public words were from another artist. I wonder what DJ AM was going through the public didn’t see. I think about the tragic end to his life and if people remember the message DJ AM left to the world. Continue reading
Oh. Now I Get It. #netneutrality
I kinda got I should care about net neutrality because I love -well live- on the Internet. So I should be ashamed to admit I had no idea what net neutrality was and why I should care.
But I’m not.
I mean look. It’s not my fault most net neutrality articles read like research papers. The worst pieces are the ones that sound like LSAT sample questions. FCC this. Regulations that. Proposals. Rules. House. Senate. Law. Hmmm what?
In one ear, out the other.
Well.Thanks to Fred Wilson’s post here and USV’s post here, I finally comprehend what net neutrality is, why I should care and why you, fellow Internet user, should care too. So click on those links. Stat.
Still here?
Ok fine. How about this. Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you have Google (Gmail included), Facebook and/or Twitter always open in your browser?
- Do you go on YouTube, Vimeo or any other video site?
- Do you stream video on Netflix, Hulu or any other site?
- Do you download music or movies? (it’s ok to say yes btw, I won’t tell.)
- Are you an entrepreneur?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, net neutrality applies to you too.
Pretty serious, right?
No?
Ok then how about this: picture the Internet ending up like cable TV or worse, the radio, where the things we (the public) see or hear is controlled by $$$.
Do I have your attention now? Read this
Ugh. The notion of money hungry a-holes trying to destroy the Internet makes me ill. I mean it’s one of the last places where everyone has a voice, no matter who you know, where you come from or what you look like.
So gross.
ps: don’t forget to read this
How to Explain SantaCon to a Four Year Old.
(Photo source.)
For those who don’t know what SantaCon is, it’s a day where people get dressed up as Santa, barhop and sing naughty carols in the streets. Usually, from early morning. It just so happened the day of SantaCon (today) I am babysitting. Despite what you may or may not have heard, I do not eat children -looking at you, Christine Lu!
Now SantaCon is marvelous…if you do not have to answer to a child. Think back to when you were little, before the holiday season meant mean, angry crowds or arguments over what to call it (Kwanzaa…) and how magical all things Christmas was? The decorations. The lights. The sounds. The smells. Remember when all things Christmas was simply wonderful? And of course, the mostest magicalest of all things magical: Santa.
I still remember counting the days, even minutes to that night when Santa flies the skies, sleigh full of presents with his team of reindeer and Rudolph leading the way. Worrying if I was good enough this year for Santa to shimmy down my chimney and leave a present under our tree. If the cookies we left were good enough for Santa to eat, and how I couldn’t wait for him to read the letter I left him. How I would stay up until as late as I could, anticipating the next morning to finally open the present Santa brought me and play with the toy the elves made… Now picture you as that child who loves Christmas, witnessing obliterated Santas tearing up the city yelling obscenities.
Trauma, anyone?
So you better believe I prepared myself for when the four year old asks: “Why are there so many smelly, loud Santas?” or “What’s wrong with all these Santas who can’t walk straight?” and came up with these answers:
Don’t Be That Guy/Girl. #smartersocial
I love that non tech savvy are getting Androids, iPhones, etc., and Facebooking-Foursquaring-Tweeting more. It makes me feel less nerdy and well, normal (or as close to normal as I can be.) Plus I don’t feel as bad for broadcasting check-ins and the like to Facebook.
HOWEVER. I’m sorry (well not really) but this has to be said.
Am I the only one who doesn’t give a two sh*ts if you’re at Home Depot looking at new toilet seats? Or at Target buying cleaning supplies? Or at the gym the same exact time, every single day?? Seriously. What’s the point???
If you think I’m a hypocrite, think again. It may seem like I mindlessly broadcast, but I pick and choose why I share what with who and how. So unless you want stalkers (knock on wood) and people to actually listen/pay attention to and be interested in you, think before sharing and remember to tweak options! You can still check-in for mayorship purposes without megaphoning everywhere.
For those wondering, Foursquare has a purpose aside from: Hey look at me! I’m outside of my house! It’s great for bookmarking and the tips users leave are super handy. i.e. cleanest restrooms in area, recommended dishes at restaurants, times and days of special deals, where electrical outlets are located (for people who are constantly charging), etc., etc. It’s such a bummer these options are kinda ignored. It’s worth checking out. No pun intended.
So don’t be that person spamming your friends! Think before following trends. #thankyouverymuch
