Tagged: LOL

Statute of Limitations, Macaroni, Twitter, and My Disclaimer

A fellow blogger J. Phil, sent this PennyArcade comic during a discussion about Facebook. I like PennyArcade, but due to my severe A.D.D. (self diagnosed), there is way too much small text to read, hence I don’t really follow PennyArcade, and doubt I appreciate it as much as I should. Sorry to all the hard core Penny Arcade fans out there. It’s me. Really.

My point is not PennyArcade or J.Phil, but everytime FUNNY + FACEBOOK are spoken in the same sentence, I think of  Twitter (the new way to blog for over caffeinated people like me) and this:

twitter-_-joshua-green-allen_-i-never-should_ve-mentione
Every. single. time. I see that up there, I laugh out loud. Facebook is expanding, and the more people from my past that add me, the more that Tweet (Tweet is what all the cool kids are calling single Twitter blurbs) is relevant.

NOT that I’ve gotten anyone pregnant. Or been impregnated by someone from my high school. Or planning to invoice someone for an abortion I’ve never had… Shit, I am digging a hole that was never there, so let me STFU – that’s an acronym for Shut. The. Fuck. Up., (just in case).

ANYway, the man makes me laugh. If that Tweet up there isn’t enough to convince you to follow him on Twitter, check this one out:

twitter-_-joshua-green-allen_-this-macaroni-necklace-myAnd if that Montessori Tweet appalled or disgusted you, you might as well disown me now before I say or do something tactless and un-PC that will appall and or disgust you. Because that up there? Is my sense of humor.

Yes, this is TOTALLY my past and future disclaimer. If I ever do or say anything offensive, you better believe I’ll redirect you to this post.

And if all else fails, I’ll just hypnotize you into believing I’m a good person. I can easily get a hypnosis kit on ebay. -just saying. ;)

LEGO Mini Fig WTF: A Truly Sad and Bizarre Tale

legoWhen I first came across the headline: “Woman Gets Confusing Box of LEGO Parts” via Geekologie, I thought: What a bunch of dramatic people. It’s EFin LEGO, figure it out. When I opened the page, I understood.

From afar, the left picture should be a representative of happy. It’s simply a family of LEGO mini fig(mini figures)s dressed in a cacophony of happy colors. Pinks, blues, whites, baby blues – normally hues of rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, cup cakes, and whatever else makes a person feel warm and fuzzy.

Completely and utterly harmless – right?

WRONG.


Take a look at this:

lego2What ARE those?  What characters do they represent? Were they leftovers? Factory rejects?  Seriously, why would the LEGO rep put together “an army of angry LEGO mini fig cross-dressers” and send it the The Bloggess? That up there is beyond a LEGO WTF. It is a box of mini fig TRAUMA.

Farewell sweet childhood memories.

(ps: Thank you, The Bloggess, for the biggest laugh in a while. These fuckers randomly popped in my mind this morning, swore I re-blogged a while back, but couldn’t find it in my archives so I’m posting it now. This is PURE GOLD)

Seven Tips for the Recently Laid Geek via BBspot

Follow these tips, and whether it’s your first time or your second time, they’ll make for a better post-coitus experience…
  1. Act like you’ve been there before – You’ve seen enough movies where the geek gets the girl, in fact those are probably your favorite genre of movie even surpassing comic-book superhero adaptations. High fives and end zone dances are amateurish. Show some class.
  2. Don’t post video – I know it’s tempting to post the secret webcam video you took of the event when someone asks for proof, but this could result in you being a recently-broken up geek when he or she finds the video. Or the recently-beaten to death geek which would be much worse.
  3. Stay in bed for at least ten minutes after – The guys in the guild will understand if you’re late for the raid on Blackwing Lair, but you might not get that kind of understanding from your partner.
  4. Facebook Status – Post-coitus don’t change your Facebook status to “<ME> has recently orgasmed.” You’ve probably friended your mom or your boss or your sister and they really don’t need that information.
  5. Save the rating for later – No matter how great it was, don’t tell him/her “5 stars. Would boink again!!!!” Save that for the nearly empty private journal you’ve been keeping since high school.
  6. Waste Disposal – Don’t forget drop the used condom in the Aperture Science Emergency Condom Incinerator before leaving. It takes away the worry about unexpected discovery by a third party, and keeps your room smelling of moldy pizza instead of, well, sex.
  7. Stop the Science Talk – People don’t want to hear about the biology, physics, or mathematics of what just happened. Save that for your thesis.

via BBspot – Seven Tips for the Recently Laid Geek

LOL!

So spill. Anyone guilty of one of those offenses?
Don’t worry — your secret’s safe with me. ;)

Heros and Monday Night Football Rudely Interrupted by Microsoft’s Ads = GOLD

Taken from the Onion:

“The Microsoft ads, which began airing earlier this week, are being blamed for generating critical system errors in more than 70 million televisions. In addition, thousands of frustrated Americans said that the ads have caused their TVs to become unresponsive, their screens to turn blue, and a small box with the message “terminal application error” to suddenly appear.

“I was in the middle of watching Monday Night Football when, all of a sudden, that stupid ad comes on and my TV freezes up,” said Scottsdale, AZ resident Michael Chaplin, adding that he never wanted to see the commercial in the first place. “The next thing I know, all these numbers and symbols show up and I get an error message saying ‘invalid file format’ or something. Now my TV is ruined.”

The new ad campaign, which features footage of everyday Americans using PCs, was launched as an upgrade to the poorly performing Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates commercials, which suffered unspecified failures in two-thirds of U.S. households.” via “Microsoft Ad Campaign CrashingNation’s Televisions” The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

OMG I haven’t laughed this hard in a while… my stomach hurts. Poor Microsoft. Not only were the Seinfeld-Gates ads EPIC FAILs, they crashed national television. NATIONAL TV!! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA -breathe- HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Mk, I think I’m done.

Have a nice day.

ps: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Custom Walmart Cakes. Ask and You Shall – precisely- Receive.

Why you should order cakes from Walmart. They follow directions. The exact directions:

Some people that work here had a going away party the other day for a woman that is leaving.

One of the supervisors called a Walmart and ordered the cake. he told them to write: “best wishes Suzanne” and underneath that write “we will miss you”. here’s the cake that was delivered:

Wow.
link

Holy Mobile Gigan-ta-huge Eddie, Batman!

Do you guys remember the biggest. Darth Vader. EVER? Well I found something even MORE bizarre a while ago.

Eddie Murphy’s head blown up times trillion is worse than CNN in Hi-Def. He shoud be fined for this offense.

link

p.s. Sorry to those who’ve been following my tumblr and already seen this. But seriously. I just CAN NOT get over how GINORMOUS his EFin head is!!!

Behold! The Underworld of Gummi Bears Exposed. NSFW

Keyword searching “Gummi Bears” on Flickr, I uncovered the darker side of Gummi Bear land. Prepare yourselves please; this may perhaps be traumatizing.

In no particular order, I present to you…

“But who’s the daddy?“ via your_teacher Your… teacher? :O!

“The Seven Gummie Sins: Envy” via Wiedmaier

“The Seven Gumie Sins: Lust“ via Wiedmaier


You can see rest of the “Seven Gummi Sins” series at Wiedmaier‘s Flickr stream.  Wow. But the most “=O!!” picture is after the jump. Are you even ready for this?!

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