Digital Expectations

She sucks.” he said. “Just because she has different email habits than you and me, it doesn’t means ‘she sucks’.” I immediately wrote back.

The other day I hooked a friend up with a friend of a friend for a ‘friend’s and family’ AirBnB discount. My friend looking for the AirBnB isn’t online 24/7 but for hyper connected people, one day of unresponsiveness seems like a week. My friend hooking my other friend up with the AirBnB sent a borderline hostile email threatening to cancel the verbal reservation if she doesn’t respond within x number of hours. The whole thing was a bit stressful for all parties involved and unnecessarily dramatic.

But then I thought about it and realized I am guilty of acting like him too. That when I send an email, I expect a response within a day. Which got me wondering: “Do digital people expect too much from others who have different behaviors than us? Do I cause unnecessary drama, stress and negativity because of those expectations?”

I don’t know if there is one answer but the biggest takeaway I got from this interaction is the world isn’t going to end because someone doesn’t immediately respond. Be more empathetic. Lay off expectations. Ease up a bit. Not just for myself but to be better towards others and, to the world.

Learn something new everyday.

Update

I’ve been getting inquiries on what I’m up to and I guess I should share here, too. Without going into too much detail, I’m pursuing a passion and figured out a way to make money from doing what I love. In short, it involves food.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love everything about the internet and technology. I’m just focusing more on myself. I started 2015 with a plan and working daily to meet milestones.

If interested, I’m blogging over on my other site. Though heads-up, if you’re not keen on food (dining, recipes, food related nerdy posts, etc.) then you shouldn’t bother clicking ;) Once I launch what I’m working on, I will for sure update here, too.

Until then, see you on OtherBits!

Beautiful People, Ugly Site. Oh, the Irony

I got sucked into signing up for a lame site / app. It’s apparently the ‘new Tinder’ but a more selective version, as people of the opposite sex need to vote you in to become a member.

So I log-in, create an account and am immediately judged by the opposite sex.

B_qfVIxUIAALZ3X

 

The first thing I notice? How dare an app that’s not even optimized for the iPhone 6/6+ judge me. The app’s text is so massive it looks like an old person phone where the font is blown-up so large, one text message hogs the entire screen.

The more I think about it, the stupider this app seems so I delete it from my phone. Not even 10 seconds later I get an email notification: “Someone is checking out your profile.”

Um what? Deleting the app doesn’t delete my profile? Great.

So I log onto their website and…

Online_Dating_Sites__Internet_Dating_Websites_-_BeautifulPeople_com

Holy 1999. This service just took some button .gif off stock images or something, didn’t even bother cropping it. Even kids on MySpace had better graphics than that up there on their clunky HTML pages. Jesus. And don’t even get me started on the font.

Maybe it’s just me but for a service to brand themselves as ‘exclusive’, their attention to detail – or lack thereof – is quite shameful. I’m embarrassed for them and hope this service burns to the ground.

What a crock of shit.

End of an era: RIP TokyoFinds

About_Me_|_TokyoFinds

 

I started TokyoFinds when I first moved to Japan and within several months it was doing well. Posts were getting picked up by major blogs (Bored Panda, Buzzfeed, etc.) and a lot of my friends in the US loved it.

Well. My login and password were saved in my phone and browser, so I hadn’t manually logged-in for over a year. When I switched phones, it set off some security trigger and prompted punching in email and password manually on both browser and app. Lo and behold I have zero clue what the log-in and password is.

I’ve been trying to ask Tumblr for help but they’re basically useless. So I’m closing that chapter of my internet life. (I’m blogging about Japan more in-depth here, if anyone’s interested.)

So long, farewell, see-ya TokyoFinds!
And good riddance. I never look back darling, I live for the now. ;)

How to Wean Off Phone Addiction

Several people immediately asked how I was able to pry myself away from my phone. Actually the conversations were more or less like this: how in the fuck does someone like you stay unplugged for so long?

It’s not as hard as I thought it would be.

For operation Internet detox, I started by reorganizing my homescreen too look like this:

IMG_0265

Social apps have always been strategically placed where they are the easiest to access. I swapped social apps with apps related to the activities I committed to do more: read and write. With help of muscle memory it’s working. I’ve been in the habit of constantly checking Facebook or Instagram and my fingers would touch the icons on the phone without thinking. Now, when my fingers automatically touch the screen where Facebook or Instagram were, Kindle and iBooks launch. In lieu of WhatsApp or LINE, Simplenote and Werdsmith open, prompting me to write.

I still have Facebook, Instagram and a few misc social apps. They’re just tucked into a folder where it takes effort to access. I turned off notifications* for all social sites and scheduled notifications for most messaging apps.

I also told myself to only check Twitter for news — being unplugged shouldn’t allow ignorance. Nuzzel is my favorite news app. Of all the news apps I’ve used, it’s the most solid with delivering articles most interesting to me. I barely need to launch Twitter anymore.

Since I didn’t trust myself, I took it a step further and disabled Wi-Fi in my home. So now my phone can only browse on mobile and if I go over my allotted 4gigs, I pay data overage fees. When money is involved it’s pretty easy to be disciplined.

It’s been less than a month but I barely go on Facebook anymore (just Messenger). Look at Twitter once or twice a day for news. And Instagram only in the morning — if that.

And that is how to wean off phone addiction. If I can do it, anyone can. Anyone.

*Backstory re: notifications: in 2011 I got fed up with notifications. It felt like my phone was constantly pestering me: someone commented on your post! You got a new mention! Email, email, email, respond, respond, respond. Text, text, text.

One day I got so irritated by my needy phone I turned off badges (the little red circle). My phone went from looking like this (left), to like this (right)

(I’ve also always had a one screen only rule: only keep apps I use.)

Turning off notifications made my life better. I was now in charge of when and what to respond to instead of letting my phone control my life. So I am used to having minimally invasive notifications.