The Stupidest Gadget for Stupid People

sensor-fresh-qInternet? Meet the Sensor Fresh Q. It checks the safety of meat or poultry, only for 90bucks!

Um, are you kidding me?

Use something called your five flippin’ senses. If the meat is not red or pink and has a greenish tint, there’s clearly something wrong. Though as a cheap Asian, I use the unspoiled meat around the discolored portions. Sounds gross, but hello? I’m not eating it raw. When cooked, all the bacteria goes away. If bacterium(?) is left behind, I’ll get the runs. Boo hoo… crap, I digress. Where was I? Oh, spoiled meat and commons sense. Bottomline: if the meat smells and looks funny, well, surprise! It may be rotten.

Shoot, you don’t even need five senses… two at the most. I should get paid $89.95 plus shipping and handling each time I make a “THIS IS SPOILED” diagnosis.


Japanese culture tidbit #1:
This may gross some of you out, but as you may or may not know, in the Japanese culture, we are accustomed to ‘raw’ foods. Fish (sushi), meats (tataki -seared beef / fish, raw on the inside, shabu-shabu -Japanese fondue I guess?), egg (I crack a raw egg over rice and eat it, I don’t care… I also dip sukiyaki in raw egg, I prefer my eggs hanjyuku, which means half way cooked), even poultry (in NYC, there’s a place called Torys in Mid-town East that serves “Tori Sashi” which is basically raw chicken sashimi. I’ve had it plenty a times and I’m still alive and kicking. The poultry is organic and free range. Plus I trust my people)

Salmonella, E. Coli, lis-whatever, and all those other potential ‘diseases’ out there don’t scare me. At all.  IMO, Americans are WAY too paranoid.


12 thoughts on “The Stupidest Gadget for Stupid People

  1. I’ll concede the price is excessive, but I think overall it’s not quite as bad as you’d suggest. There are times when it’s hard to tell whether Meat or Chicken is good or bad, particularly if its been frozen for example, it’s not always as easy as clear color change or distinct smell.

  2. I agree, it’s pretty silly and Americans are WAY too paranoid. If you cook it, yup it pretty much kills everything. If you are eating it raw you should be buying it fresh anyway. Besides, it sounds like there is a lot of stuff this machine doesn’t for. It’s just a freshness meter. If you really can’t remember how long it’s been in the fridge you probably shouldn’t be eating it no matter what the machine says.

  3. But wait, there’s more! Not only will Mona tell you if your meat is bad, she will slap you upside the head for free! How much would you pay for this? $149.95? $100.00? Act now in the next 10 minutes and you can have this Mona Bad Meat Detection service for *just* $89.95 (plus S&H). Don’t wait folks, it’s flying off the shelves! Order now!

  4. The people who buy this are clearly not the brightest. It’s a gimmick. No reason to use the word retarded to describe it. Retarded is a disparaging word that causes great hurt to people living with special needs. Shocking as this might be to you, they having feelings and can read. No reason to be unkind after all, I mean, you’re not American, right?

  5. how did i miss this stupidity? $90 for a meter to tell you that your meat might not be that good and if its frozen wait for it to thaw out and you’ll know if its started to turn rotten

  6. Actually, I live alone and have had lost my sense of smell 14 years ago. This would be helpful for me. Still I would balk at the $90 sticker.

  7. Mona Nomura passed away today from acute food poisoning. Memorial service will be held at Green Acres Funeral Home on Wednesday, with a private service for family held before.

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