Woes of a Single Girl Geek

q_t_pi_md1jpg-400c397392-pixelsBeing a geek girl rocks, but at the same time sucks. There are way too many assumptions and conversations take too long because I have to start by explaining and or proving myself. Otherwise, people are condescending.


“Aw, there’s something wrong with your PC? Is it plugged in?”

Please do not address me like a grandma on AOL. I’ve clean installed Windows, set up home networks and  servers. Wha chu kno ’bout that?

“How cute, you like the Palm Pre. Not sure if it comes in pink.”

Pink + mobile = Microsoft’s Pink – and that is not happening. Otherwise, does not compute. I happen to be a huge mobile junkie and interested in more than just its looks.

“You should install this browser called Firefox and rid IE, you know.”

Uh, I switched to Firefox in 2003. Been using WebKit’s nightly build for quite some time now, thank you very much.

…on and on, the rude comments continue.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind AS much but people freak out when I can VPN, know how to get into terminal, troubleshoot CSS (if need be), use Google’s unofficial shell, know that cloud computing isn’t a computer thrown away by tossing into the sky, and hold my own in OpenSource, enterprise convos. I even have Dave Winer’s OPML editor installed and running a beta tool.

And yes, I am aware I wrote a paragraph justifying myself.

Anyway, as if that’s not enough to deal with, it sucks even more being a SINGLE geek girl. Why? Well:

  • I’d rather be online than at some bar getting pawed = less ‘normal’ meetings. Craigslist and match.com are awful if you’re a female. It is a chore filtering ‘normal’ geek guys. Actually, I’d rather be online – period, which makes everyone think I am an agoraphobic oddball.
  • 90% of the population doesn’t get me.
  • The normal single male population thinks I am weird and I am not down with explaining my um, quirks? For a lack of a better term.
  • Guy geeks are awesome but there’s just something… missing. Call it a sprinkle ‘o ghetto but I need someone that knows what’s up. I don’t want to crime fight for you – like I did with two of my hard-core geek exs. If I’m not crime fighting for them, we argue over stupid things like: next big gadget purchases. Who gets which hole (surge protectors, you pervs). Why OpenID is useless (or not). And the worst – home tech support. I have gotten into many fights since I know as much as or if not more and when I fix problems, apparently it crushes egos when a GIRL knows more. Oh, god. I am getting the shakes from flashbacks.

Add Japanese to the mix and it’s OVER. I get all sorts of inappropriate anime, sushi, konichiwa, and Daniel-san comments.

I am depressing myself writing this.

Woe is me.

See, Drew and Andrew? Being a single guy geek is CAKEWALK. At least you guys have another outlet: gamers. And girl gamers are HOT.

Woe is flippin’ me. ;)

BTW I got lazy and quit linking half way through – will link some other time. (ya right)

30 thoughts on “Woes of a Single Girl Geek

  1. Being a single girl geek sucks. Heck, being a girl geek in a relationship that doesn’t quite fit… also sucks. Here’s hoping you find more success than most girl geeks I know.

  2. How about:
    • “Are you sure you want *this* com-pu-ter?”
    • “A 3-cell battery lasts just as long as a 6-cell”
    • Et cetera, et cetera…

    So many asshats, so little time to punch them all…

  3. Funny post. You want a little touch o’ghetto?? That was a nice line. Tried e-harmony yet? Probably so … maybe just be patient and wait for a friend (or geek friend) to hook you up.

    A good place could be at these geek conferences and meetups … I say you add that to your schedule for the year.

    And then be patient. How old are you anyways??

  4. I hate to paraphrase Jack Nicholson here but “The next guy who ‘get’s’ you is going to light up and pay-out in Silver Dollars. When I say ‘get’ I mean understand you. My psych. training (life) tells me you have a healthy awareness of yourself but the brotherly side of me wants to surround you with Ninjas to protect your heart.

    The greatest advice Todd Rundgren gave to artists was “Never adjust your music to your audience, adjust your audience to your music.”

    Keep playing your beautifully bizarre melodies, the one with the right ‘ear’ will discover your heart. I appreciate the art that is your life, now pass me some Lego’s Star Wars figures!

    1. NiceFishFilms – Michael, that was the most beautiful comment anyone has ever left me. -sigh-

      Far – we need to totally team up and punch out everyone. Great, now people will think we’re violent AND geeky. hahahahha @Amani: I am really old. ;) @SAP: JUST SAY NO TO PINK!!

  5. Ugh, I am right there with you. I don’t date geek guys anymore. My current bf only uses computers for car parts and porn, and I keep the computers and intertubes humming along smoothly by myself…just the way I like it!

  6. Suggestion (take it or leave it): Go volunteer for some event in the community: food drive, soup kitchen, local cancer patient benefit, local theater, whatever. Meet some social hackers–“geeks” who specialize in working with and helping other people. Getting out there with volunteers will help you focus on other people, and gives everyone a chance to shine. Maybe one will be a guy who catches your attention, or maybe not. Either way, it will get your mind off being single.

    If you absolutely have to keep it tech-geeky, help design a website for a local charity or non-profit, get their blog started for them, or become an online spokesperson for them. Either way, interact with other selfless people, and you’re more likely to find someone up your alley than in the internet geek parade.

    Happy Birthday, and may you find satisfaction in this next year of life!


  7. Ah Ha! You are a victim of female stereotypes… Grrrr!

    I love it when I tell folks I am a certified engineer that specializes in Product / Project Mgmt and can easily spec out new web apps or move a Data Center! LOL

    Everybody line up an *fall over*!! :D

    I do get into arguments with my hubby – another geek – about techie solutions / home PC crap! LOL

  8. At the risk of sounding creepy and weird; I get you. As a relatively normal (who’s/what’s normal?) geek guy that grew up poor in a bad part of town and managed to come out alive, educated, and criminal record free (dead serious BTW), this type of behavior really pisses me off. Gender stereotypes piss me off in general.

    Some of the geekiest and most knowledgeable people I know are women and I defer to their greater knowledge all the time. Why other people can’t is beyond me, but they are likely the same ones that think football and hockey are a man’s sport and that cooking and child rearing (two of my favorite things) are a woman’s work.

    It makes me most sad though that the people that perpetuate this behavior the most are geeks. You’d think that if anybody could accept people for who they are, it’d be the ones that were likely not accepted by most for a good part of their lives.

    Anyways, don’t sit around waiting for a geek guy, or non-geek guy, that “gets” you. My non-geek fiance doesn’t “get” me but she, mostly, accepts me for who I am and acceptance is all you really need.

    Here I am ranting at strangers again. LOL

  9. Surfed on b/c several people I follow on FF shared this. I like your blog by the way! :-)

    I consider myself a geek, but I can’t imagine arguing about surge protectors or OpenID or who’s right on a tech support issue (won’t seeing if it fixes the computer answer that?) — or maybe that’s just my girlfriend who’s beaten some manners in to me… in any event, I apologize on behalf of male geekdom and wish you good luck in looking for more… “positive” geek companionship.

  10. I’d be happy to meet a geek girl smarter than me, or any other geek for that matter. Sadly, I’m trapped in a tiny little town where half the people I know don’t grasp the concept of USB Flash Drives.


  11. I read your stuff and I get 2 strong images. First, the agressive, edgy, attitude that wants to shock and then the other which you know way better than I ’cause it is under the first. Walls not only protect, they also isolate. Time is so powerful and reveals so much that I wish you a long and full life-Happy Birthday.

  12. Thanks for the diagnosis. I’m sure you’re quite right. And I quite agree – let’s not address the point, better we address the sign-off..

    Aw, ignore me – you’re much lauded recently on Friendfeed, and I thought I’d explore why that was, and, y’know, be encouraging. Haven’t started well, have I? Anyway, regardless of my gaucheness, I reserve the right to apologize without really meaning it..

  13. Late reply, and totally meaningless one. To some degree its kinda easy to understand big chunk of that in me own shell (mean the solitude not the girly geekiness). I envy and respect You for as long as I heard of “pixel bits” for the first time. Keep the fingers crossed for You finding Your perfect significant other (be it lesbian, the internet or handsome, witty, rich geek who will accept the tiny oddities of proud Mona).

  14. Hiya!

    Maybe you think being a single girl geek sucks, but be sure being single boy geek sucks even more. I guess being single sucks. (And games suck as well)

    Anyway – when it comes to talking to girls – I just try not to be a geek and just let the girl think that what I do for living is “sitting by a computer and using brain”, and they just think I’m incredibly intelligent, but they don’t wanna know what exactly I do, because they don’t care about geeky stuff.

    I think talking about work doesn’t belong to a relationship. Maybe that’s because I never met a girl, who would really understand stuff. If there’s nothing else to talk about between two people, then I think they shouldn’t be together.

    Take care, geeky buddy! :)

  15. being a geeky guy isnt much better to be honest, im shy and nervous and barely speak to other men let alone women.

    i live in a horrible area and dont really know where i can meet girls that are geeky as me.

    i wish you luck on your quest to find a ghetto geek guy, try nerdcore rappers haha

  16. You seem to be an interesting person. ^^

    Many of the guys I know are just like the guys you described, not even going to mention when a girlfriend (note: it means friend, don’t let the media use this word about your LOVER ;) ) was talking about agming experiences and some of the “pros” whom I constantly own (games, IT class, life :p ) start getting on her nerves by insulting her. Blarg.

    hit me up and you’ll get the holes you want. :D

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s