I am Addicted to Undercover Douchebags.


I have the absolute worst taste in men.

Lumping the men I dig into the “douchebag” category is a bit harsh, since they do not look like the common douchebags. i.e. greasy hair, designer clothes wearin, name dropping, flashy car driving, guido-ish, Myspacing…douchebags. The douchebags I am attracted to, are undercover douchebags.

Ok, you’re probably confused but check this out. So today, a very good friend of mine shed some perspective.
According to him:

“douche bags are CHARMING & confident — they come at you with unexpected sh*t cuz they’re born playas. That’s what’s attractive, a guy who knows he’s got game and isn’t afraid to take a risk, be bold, etc.

Most dudes don’t know how to take all that magnetic sh*t and package it into a something that doesn’t get all douchey. A guy has to have some swagger to be a strong dude, but he becomes a douche when he believes too much in the swagger, right? And he doesn’t realize that a little humility every now and then will make the girl swoon. He doesn’t realize that throwing some nobility, or thoughtfulness, into the mix will make him something much greater than a lady-killer. Like, if you remember some shit a girl said, and run it back to her later, holy crap. I took that little trick — of listening well — and made it part of who I am.

Lastly, a douche’s worst downfall is that he’s super selfish.

Holy crap, the man is on point!!
Then, he (my friend), closed the message with:

“etc etc. It takes one to know one ;) Clearly I have douchey propensities. The love of a good woman set me straight when I hit college, she showed me that my shenanigans weren’t cutting it. But if he’s not trained early, a dude won’t ever get straight.”

Now that is hot.
He is real, honest, tells it like it is, and knows himself. Le sigh.

Now that I know this, I need to apply.
First step? Putting myself on blast to (hopefully) avoid future mistakes.

So Mona. Focus. And watch for these characteristics:

  • Thoughtfulness (or lack thereof)
  • Nobility (or lack thereof)
  • Seflishness

Perspective is wonderful.
But everything, is easier said than done. ha! ;)


8 thoughts on “I am Addicted to Undercover Douchebags.

  1. Fact you think what that friend said is hot, kinda makes me think you haven’t learned much yet ;)

  2. I think John Cougar Melloncamp originally wrote “Small Town” about being a douchebag, but changed the hook from “I was born a douchebag” to “I was born in a small town” just to sell records. That fucking sellout douchebag.

    Not really, but still.

  3. Pascal – Nay. Look at what I think is hot; how he was real, honest, and knew himself. ;)

    FuriousBall – haha! Your comment made my day!! :)

  4. Heh, not a perfect lucky guy, but I wouldnt go as far as to say all my past dates gfs and such used to be cranky, grumpy, never happy, money- and blood-sucking carnivores hoping for a wealthy marriage and quick divorce. Some of them were close to it, some of them were perfect friends, but we had to live apart, big or small I did love them all…

  5. I often find the women who complain about ‘men’ are actually only dating ‘boys’. Until they raise their standards and seek out something a little more refined, they’re destined for continued trouble with their relationships.

    1. Definitely agree – and that is why I am complaining about myself, instead of the men. Step 1 of growing up: Taking accountability.

      Babysteps, I’m trying! :)

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