Dating 101: Just Say NO to Digital Hickeys

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Remember hickeys? I do.

I’ve had two hickeys my whole entire life and both were pretty unpleasant experiences. The first, I was around 14ish (I think) and happy to finally be included in the hickey club. All the cool kids were in that club, so I felt cool too…until I realized how much effort was required to hide the damn thing. It hit me early on, that outside of school hickeys were just big, purple, markings faaaar from cool and well…simply gross. I stopped talking to the guy who gave it to me and made it clear to those who came after him, if they dared even attempted leaving a hickey, I’d drop kick them in the head.

The second, was in my early 20s.
I was going on an all girl Vegas trip and my bf at that time left the biggest, meanest, purplest, most disgusting hickey on my left neckline a day before the trip. I remember the shock of being so caught off guard. We were in our 20s. Who leaves hickeys? WHO? …and (really) blurted out of irritation: WTF am I? A frickin’ fire hydrant? Don’t mark your territory like an EFin dog! before kicking him to the curb. As much as I liked him, insecurity* = do. not. want, and  to this day, he still thinks I am a nut-job who broke up with him over a hickey (not confirmed).

So in my mind, hickeys are GROSS.

Nowadays, hickeys have stepped its game up and gone digital. It’s allllll about subtly marking territories on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, et al., by leaving detailed wall posts spilling personal business for all to see, or uploading and tagging photos of the two of you. The various ways people leave digital bits is pretty hilarious and telling. All I know is, digital or not, hickeys = DO NOT WANT.

That said, dating is now a lot easier, thanks to social networking sites. Filtering potentials is so much easier. I can tell a lot about another person just by their Facebook or Myspace pages. If a guy I just met had digital hickeys all over their pages, I would definitely run the other way.

Reason no. 897928374 I really really love the Internet. ;)

*Just in case he’s reading this, he wasn’t all that insecure. We were together during my peak partying years. I was working a 9-5, bartending for fun at clubs on the weekend, and partying when I wasn’t working or bartending… so I understand. But as wild as I came off, I never did anything to make anyone be insecure.

One thought on “Dating 101: Just Say NO to Digital Hickeys

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