I am human too.

The other day, a friend mentioned in passing how I am very zen-like which made me, well, a little uneasy. Me? The one with no filter? The one who inappropriately curses like a truck driver?? Zen like? ZEN LIKE? Really? REALLY??

After skimming through my Twitter and Facebook, my face flushed. He was right. A lot of my shares lately have been cheesy inspirational crap. An over abundance of Steve Jobs quotes. Tips on minimalistic mindsets. How to find your center, balance, how to hold hands with your worst enemy, etc. etc.

Seriously. I should rename my blog to butterflies-and-rainbow-kumbaya-vomit.

Well. Perhaps it was the rough month of August. Or it could simply be my old age but all the inspirational reading helped a lot. Needed a few reminders about what I knew. Or what I thought I knew as the more I grow-up, the less energy I spend on things that are out of my control. On a superficial level, it’s easy to be and stay composed, as I’ve mastered the art of determining how much time, effort and emotions I want to invest in almost every thing I do in life. That way, if I make a mistake or bad judgment call, I brush it off and happily go on with my day. But on the true, real, where it matters the most level? FAIL.

The one thing that’s helped me, is figuring out long ago: people do not change. Since the only thing I can change is my self, subconsciously, I became well versed in self-control and discipline (or stubbornness) especially when emotions are involved.

But as I become more honest with myself, the more I become in tune with myself. The more I become in tune with myself, the more I see: the majority of my displayed strength is a facade. A defense mechanism, if you will, to never let anyone see my weaknesses. Vulnerabilities. Frailties. Now that I identified, acknowledged and embraced weakness, vulnerability and frailities, the need to work on how to be strong and weak at the same time. To find balance. To remain true to myself, while allowing myself to live. To love…is clear. Crystal frickin’ clear.

So I’m learning. I want to learn. I have to learn, to be the best I can be every second of every day.

So pardon all the cheesy junk that may flow through your streams.
My hope is, if articles that touched or inspired me affects even one person, I will happily take all your smack talking. Because I am still me. The one who has no problems telling people to ‘SHUT YOUR TWITTER/FACEBOOK/INTERNET-HOLES’ ;)

Until then, remember that I am perfectly flawed. A constant work in progress. I am weak and fragile just like any other person.

I am human, too.
(Ok, fine. Sometimes binary. 0101, Mona)

5 thoughts on “I am human too.

  1. After being internet friends for years now, I feel like I’ve seen you in different waves of expression. Most of the time you’ve been upbeat and positive but then every once in a while there’s a glimpse of your personal side that you don’t always seem to show. I’m guessing that that side is shown more to your friends in the non digital world (at least I’d hope so or else I don’t know how you could survive with keeping it all in) but I’m glad that you feel like you can share them with us too.

    …how is that for some cheesiness? :)

    1. Funny thing, is, there are only a select few of my real life friends I open up to as well. Sadly, they are all on the West Coast…though I’m finally starting to build friendships with girls out here who I can trust almost as much as the ones on the right coast ;)

      But I can say the same thing about you, as we’ve known each other online for what? Five or six years? And rarely, do we get a glimpse of your private life!

      Speaking of, we need to meet in person. Some time. Any time soon LOL
      Thanks for the comment and the kind words. Much obliged!

  2. Its ok bud. to drop the veil. every now and then. it cleanses. its cathartic. its what life and living is all about. every thing isn’t supposed to go as per plan. and if it actually did, OMG it would all be so borrrngg. and oh btw. the slew of jobs quotes. i nicked one of them and posted them on quora. did you see? seems to be getting hits too and getting me quora credits. yea ! TGIF

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