NYC, You Kicked My Ass.

“It’s ONLY 3.5 blocks. Any human with two arms, two legs and a pulse should easily move four – no – three and a half short blocks . If they rely on others, they should just get the F out of NYC.” …was what I repeatedly told people while turning down offers to help me move.

What a gigantic mistake. I was wrong.
Boy, was I wrong.

It started with underestimating the distance. Then, overestimating my superpowers equals formula for Fin disaster. You better believe I paid for it. Big time. What – in theory – was only supposed to be a 3-4 hour move? Ended up taking all. frickin’. day.

After about the fourth-ish leg, I knew that in order for me to keep it together, I needed moral support. Turning to friends via phone calls / texts / Facebook something, anything, to find people I love cheering me on was exactly what I needed. Encouragement helped me push through. And it worked. I did it.

Ok, fine. So it took about a good eight hours. A few ‘I am independent and bad-ass yet still can be a damsel in distress’ acts for kind strangers to help with the super heavy stuff. But still, I hauled most of my crap all by myself. Didn’t call the people who offered to help me move. I didn’t even cab it! And you know what? It feels DAMN good. I don’t remember the last time I felt this empowered (in my personal life).

So New York? You may have kicked my ass through the apartment hunting process but in the end, I OWNED YOUR ASS, BITCH!

It’s true when they say if you make it here, you can make it anywhere. I feel like I can conquer the world.

Next up: world domination.
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Day by Day.

This month was one of the worst of my life.

Things cannot be better on the work front. My personal life, is another story.
In case you hadn’t noticed, August was all about:

  • my stolen phone and how I hate the East Village
  • the apartment hunting pity parties and how I wanted to kill myself ten times over
  • cryptic emo FB updates (sorry, this one is too personal to share)

(God, I’m cringing writing this.)

Over the past week several friends went out of their ways to ask if I was ok. They all knew something was wrong, since I consistently keep my composure. Rarely reveal intimate details of my life to the public.

“So unlike you…” they all said, of my semi-public meltdown. And they are right. I have always been private about my personal life but lately, not so much.

When I finally slowed down, I figured out why.

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Date an Entrepreneur (Female Version)

Came across this post about dating a female entrepreneur.
Male vs female pontifications bore me (frankly), but boy, am I glad I clicked.
Specifically, this part:

[…]Don’t try to stop her – there’s no point.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Fail her. Because an entrepreneur knows how to create opportunity from failure. Because an entrepreneur understands that nothing truly comes to an end. That you can always create something from nothing. That you can recreate again and again and still be the heroine. That life is meant to have a challenge or two. Besides, it’s a good reminder that she has to focus on being the best she can be – for herself first.

Why be frightened of everything that you lack? Entrepreneurs understand that people, like companies, grow. She will help you realize your potential. She will study you more than anyone. She’ll figure you out. That’s when you’re really in trouble.

Clarity – finally.

I always thought something was wrong with me, as my friends have been giving me crap for as long as I can remember. Apparently I am too understanding. Too patient. I have too much empathy and forget to put myself first. They repeat how I need to be with someone who loves me more than I love them — blah, blah, blah,  you get the picture, right?

But you see, I rarely open my heart. So when I do, I am all in. And with my heart, comes a love that is full of patience, understanding and most importantly forgiveness.

I’m not going to lie.

At times, I wish I were different. Saves heart ache by being stupidly blinded from love. It sucks being such a clear-cut person, for I suscept myself to unnecessarily hurt. But again, when I’m in,  I’m all the way in and it takes a lot for me to give up. I may not be a lot of things, but what I am is fiercely loyal. I fight, until the very end. It takes a lot for me to give up. So when I DO give up, I am able to move forward, never to look back, always, with zero regrets. And I know, from inside out, I possessed the courage, strength, honor and respect to myself and for the other person that I gave it my all.

It’s who I am, personally and professionally.
Which is also why I am an entrepreneur.
My philosophy? Go big or go home.
And even if I have to start from scratch, I always move forward with dignity.

“I never look back darling, it distracts from the now” – Edna, The Incredibles