Japan: this is why we are so behind #tech

This perfectly epitomizes what is wrong with Japanese tech.

So I received a snail mail invite to supposedly one of the largest tech events:  Japan IT Week Expo.
There are exhibitions and key-notes on: cloud computing, big data, security, web + mobile marketing and something about the 3rd annual Smartphone and Mobile Expo.

First of all, what is the difference between a smartphone and a mobile?
Or does ‘mobile’ mean tablet?? What is this… web and mobile marketing they speak of??? Why are they separate???? It’s 2013 — have you heard of responsive design? GET ON THAT.

Then please take a look at the brochure, jam packed with text.
This looks like a conference for bankers.

photo 1

And can we talk about one of the keynote speakers?
Does that man down there look like he can teach anyone anything about mobile tech and trends??

photo 2

To top it off, they showed some photos from last year’s exhibition:

photo 3

I mean seriously.

No wonder monster corporations like Sony, Panasonic,  Nintendo and et al., can’t get their shit together. The people on top are old farts who learn about ‘the web’ from other staunchy old farts at venues like these.

God. Sometimes, I’m so embarrassed for this country.

Goes to show how much opportunity for disruption there is.
Reason no bajillion I’m in Tokyo :)

The BBB’s Creepy PR Video #unnecessary

I came across disturbing news about The Better Business Bureau, and how they were accepting bribes for grading businesses.

It’s a bummer, since the BBB is quite useful for online shopping when I need to check if a merchant is legit. Now that I think about it, the main alternative to the BBB is Yelp…another offender of selling out the public but at least Yelp posts reviews from real people.

Anyway, the BBB addressed the public by responding on Twitter and linked us to their public apology. The press release with all that PR bullshit was expected but they included a video message from the President/CEO. While I highly commend them for attempting to connect with the public, that post and video creeped me the fuck out. The President/CEO guy’s body language, mannerisms and intonation reminded me of the guy from America’s Most Wanted. Note: I couldn’t embed the BBB video here but you can watch it by clicking this. YouTube clip of America’s Most Wanted is here.

Sorry (well not really) but once an organization catering to the public breaks my trust, it takes a lot to regain it…and that lame video didn’t do anything for me. Actually, the correlation between the CEO guy and America’s Most Wanted makes me distrust the BBB even more.

That’s me though. Will you still trust the Better Business Bureau?

Be Your Favorite Blogger for Halloween #UnfortunateCostumes

There was a time when being ‘famous on the internet,’ wasn’t something you’d tell your parents about. These days, top bloggers are becoming increasingly famous, influential and seriously paid. Sure you can wait for the traffic on your little blogspot page to pick up and hope to become a fixture on everyone’s preferred reader, or you can just dress up like one of the best. Even you can be Mr. TechCrunch himself, the Queen of all Media or the Agent of Change with these fun printable masks.

Drawings by Jenni Chasteen

Wow. These are the scariest, weirdest, creepiest, most unfortunate things. Ever. via @JessicaRandazza

My Baloney has a First Name: DO NOT EAT

So we are discussing best sandwiches on FriendFeed and Twitter. I suddenly remembered baloney. Since I hadn’t thought about baloney in YEARS, it was like I discovered it for the first time — again.

Conclusion: American bologna is just plain wrong.
ESPECIALLY Oscar Mayer’s version
Check this out:

(image borrowed from oscar mayer’s site)

Look at the very first ingredient!!
Mechanically separated chicken and pork

WTF?

Now I am no tree hugging-KFC-boycotting-throwing crap at celebrities animal activist but “mechanically separated” animal parts made my imagination kick off.

The only thing i could picture was this:
Continue reading

FACEBOOK USERS: READ. NOW.

facebook-fail

URGENT: I’ve been robbed and need help.

Imagine logging into Facebook and seeing a friend’s status message set to the above. What would you do?

Joaquin Grech saw his friend’s status message set to an urgent cry for help and immediately logged on to Facebook chat to ask: “What can I do to help?” The “friend” told him how she was robbed at the airport, needed to get back home, and asked him to wire her $600 to a certain address.

Luckily, Joaquin decided to ask questions confirming her identity before transferring the funds. When the “friend” couldn’t answer his questions, he knew her account was hacked and commented on her status message: “XXX’s account was hacked. Don’t send money.”

The hacker, deleted him from the account to prevent him from warning more people. At this time, he and I have no idea if people fell for it or if the scam artist received money. But the fact remains: her account was hacked and people may have been scammed.

The problem with Facebook is this:

Only after I Googled, revealed this phishing scam is old news. TechCrunch covered it on the 20th and WSF (Wall Street Journal) covered it yesterday.

Facebook knew of this scam for over three full business days. Why haven’t we been notified by Facebook?
How many people need to be scammed before Facebook finally notifies us? Well we’ll soon find out — on the six o’clock news. Unacceptable.

Google had four design choices but picked THIS favicon? WHY?

When I first saw Google’s new favicon, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe the ugliness of the re-design. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I thought of various scenarios. Maybe it’s color blind friendly? Or Marissa Mayer was on vacation? Or perhaps it was uploaded by mistake.

After reading this post on Google’s official blog, I was even more confused. You see, Google encouraged users to submit their designs while incorporating their (Google’s) vision in June of 2008. Seven-ish or so months later, they revealed the new favicon (unannounced). Then the Google team showcased some of the contenders.


Pretty.

These designs are easy on the eyes – soft, subtle colors, unobtrusive “G” logo. It’s almost… dreamy. -sigh- Can you blame me for being so confused at Google’s heinous choice? Look at this:
favicon3

Even the original design looks better than their final design.
Still giving Google the benefit of the doubt, I looked for the author. If Marissa Mayer’s name isn’t included, there could be some hope – right?

favicon4
Sigh. Guess not.

I really dislike the distracting favicon. So much so, I asked the FriendFeed and Twitter communities for an alternative search engine. If interested, there’s TONS of great feedback here.

This particluar solution: “Dude, just adblock that bitch. – Leather Donut !” made me LOL but as PJ and many others said, GreaseMonkey scripts for Firefox seems the most feasible option. That or finding a new search engine. -double sigh-

Do you guys like the new favicon? If not, are you blocking it? Do you even care?

Swiss Cheese for Feet = WHY?

Seriously. These are my worst nightmare

Pile-o-ugly

Simply, blasphemous.

As if the colors aren’t bad enough, they’re rubber. RUBBER. Talk about hazardous. What happens when there’s a fire? Or the asphalt is scalding? Or you happen to trip in front of a hot motorcycle muffler and land with your feet up? Those suckers will burn and stick to your feet!
disclaimer: NOT based on actual research but my imagination. please don’t sue me for slander. k? thanks.

On top of that, there’s too much foot exposure going on.
And the holes on the side are just ALL sortsa wrong.
I’m sorry (not really) but I do not want to see cracked, ashy heels AND feet… not that I stare at strangers’ feet, but seriously. When you utilize public transpo as much as I do, it’s hard not seeing them and get outright disgusted. Simply put, Crocs are a waste of material and the ULTIMATE fashion faux-pauxs.

Why can’t they just… disappear? Dissipate? Remove itself from the world?!

BTW, these “actually cute Croc” boots? Do not count as Crocs.
For some reason this entry got A LOT of feedback on Facebook. You can see all the funny comments here.

Only in America: Deep Fried HOLY WTFs

You guys know I am obsessed with the Luther Burger, have challenged to consume a 12lb burger (will blog about that some other time), and infatuated by bizarre foods, but Asylum magazine’s: “Deadliest Dishes — 15 Delicacies That Might Kill You” even shocked me. It is not normal practice for me to post lists, but this one is a serious must see. Behold! A few of the highlights:

hot-beef-sundae1

A steaming hot beef sundae, served with a pile of EFin HEART ATTACK. WHY would anyone think to pile beef, top it with chocolate syrup lookin’ like gravy, then top that with a mound of cheese? Who the f*ck concocts something like that? WHO?

photo-gallery-12

Deep fried burger. As if a burger, with cheese, and grease isn’t already bad enough, some GENIUS thought of throwing it into a deep fryer. To make it even worse, it’s served with a side of fries. The least they could’ve done was make it half coleslaw. HELLLL-O coronary cloggage!

deep-fried-coke2
If you’re gonna shove a deep fried burger down your hatch, why not wash it down with a deep fried Coke. COKE THAT IS DEEP FRIED. HOW someone managed to toss liquid sugar into a fryer is way over my head. That is probably why the Coke looks like rabbit poo, but maybe I didn’t know the solid form of liquids are pellets, hence the reason  I would never be able to accomplish such genius. At any which way: So. Ultra. Gross.

photo-gallery1Chicken fried bacon…? I turned my head right. Then I turned it to the left. I even picked up my laptop and put the screen over my head to see if it would look…better(?) from various angles. But I still can not understand. WHAT ARE THOSE?! Is that really bacon in there? The pink that’s peeking out from the deep fried skin looks all sorts of weird. I love chicken and I looooooove me some bacon but I DO NOT want that. Yuck.

These foods are specialty / signature dishes of the great ‘ole U.S. of A., and though they may seem interesting? It is one of the culprits of why our country is the fattest nation in the world. Now please excuse me – gonna go grab some KFC. You know? Some REAL deep fried foods? HA.

See the entire list here.

Statute of Limitations, Macaroni, Twitter, and My Disclaimer

A fellow blogger J. Phil, sent this PennyArcade comic during a discussion about Facebook. I like PennyArcade, but due to my severe A.D.D. (self diagnosed), there is way too much small text to read, hence I don’t really follow PennyArcade, and doubt I appreciate it as much as I should. Sorry to all the hard core Penny Arcade fans out there. It’s me. Really.

My point is not PennyArcade or J.Phil, but everytime FUNNY + FACEBOOK are spoken in the same sentence, I think of  Twitter (the new way to blog for over caffeinated people like me) and this:

twitter-_-joshua-green-allen_-i-never-should_ve-mentione
Every. single. time. I see that up there, I laugh out loud. Facebook is expanding, and the more people from my past that add me, the more that Tweet (Tweet is what all the cool kids are calling single Twitter blurbs) is relevant.

NOT that I’ve gotten anyone pregnant. Or been impregnated by someone from my high school. Or planning to invoice someone for an abortion I’ve never had… Shit, I am digging a hole that was never there, so let me STFU – that’s an acronym for Shut. The. Fuck. Up., (just in case).

ANYway, the man makes me laugh. If that Tweet up there isn’t enough to convince you to follow him on Twitter, check this one out:

twitter-_-joshua-green-allen_-this-macaroni-necklace-myAnd if that Montessori Tweet appalled or disgusted you, you might as well disown me now before I say or do something tactless and un-PC that will appall and or disgust you. Because that up there? Is my sense of humor.

Yes, this is TOTALLY my past and future disclaimer. If I ever do or say anything offensive, you better believe I’ll redirect you to this post.

And if all else fails, I’ll just hypnotize you into believing I’m a good person. I can easily get a hypnosis kit on ebay. -just saying. ;)

LEGO Mini Fig WTF: A Truly Sad and Bizarre Tale

legoWhen I first came across the headline: “Woman Gets Confusing Box of LEGO Parts” via Geekologie, I thought: What a bunch of dramatic people. It’s EFin LEGO, figure it out. When I opened the page, I understood.

From afar, the left picture should be a representative of happy. It’s simply a family of LEGO mini fig(mini figures)s dressed in a cacophony of happy colors. Pinks, blues, whites, baby blues – normally hues of rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, cup cakes, and whatever else makes a person feel warm and fuzzy.

Completely and utterly harmless – right?

WRONG.


Take a look at this:

lego2What ARE those?  What characters do they represent? Were they leftovers? Factory rejects?  Seriously, why would the LEGO rep put together “an army of angry LEGO mini fig cross-dressers” and send it the The Bloggess? That up there is beyond a LEGO WTF. It is a box of mini fig TRAUMA.

Farewell sweet childhood memories.

(ps: Thank you, The Bloggess, for the biggest laugh in a while. These fuckers randomly popped in my mind this morning, swore I re-blogged a while back, but couldn’t find it in my archives so I’m posting it now. This is PURE GOLD)