Websites are the New Scrunchies

Just like how the 80s birthed many crime worthy fashion trends – I mean seriously, look at that picture. Just Say NO! to Scrunchies – one of the biggest modern day faux pas is appalling. People, I am talking about virtual prettifying trends that need to be stopped.

My Facebook and Gmail and a lot of my favorite sites take a bajillion katrillion years to open. Is it like that for you, too?  When uploading pictures with a fancy image uploader that’s floating mid-screen, my browser sometimes freaks out. Like this.

Is it just me?

Or does it piss you off, like it pisses me the EF off, when there’s major freezeage while playing music on one of those dope ass players? You know, the ones that take a trillion years to show up on the page and when everything finally loads, it takes another ten EFin hours for the music to play?

Well, you guys, when that happens? It is NOT your faults. Nor is it your computers’ faults. It is really not you, but the websites’ and the companies’ faults, for dressing up the interfaces with useless code. (Technically, it’s script overload. Too much Ajax and or JS = No Thank You. If you’re tech savvy, install Chrome or Webkit’s nightly build, since they have rendering engines built specifically for the purpose of handling script. Add-ons not an option. If what you read is gibberish, no worries. Just don’t contact me with questions and go here: http://letmegooglethatforyou.com)

Fine, I deal with all that crap. I don’t like it, but I deal. I choose to use the unfancified versions (plain HTML or simple uploaders) since I have NO patience for things to load and crashing browsers, but the most horrible thing is this.

Do you see that?
There is a missing pixel. UNACCEPTABLE.

And now this.

Misaligned text. Super duper unacceptable.
I know these sites are free. I know I shouldn’t be complaining. But we’re already tortured by browser crashage, why can’t interfaces be easier on our eyes? Instead of fancyfying shit, fix the rudimentary aspects of your motherEFin sites, please.

Thank you. And have a great day.
/rant